Bank holiday Monday gave me an excellent opportunity to go on a bit of a swimming adventure and as such this post is loaded with photos. I ventured away from the normal spots along the river I swim at and went somewhere a little closer to home taking a few swimming buddies with me. The plan was to swim downstream from Eynsham lock to Godstow lock on the Thames, a little over 6km according to the environment agency website.
The start point was a little bit muddy, we got in the river from the edge of a field and the mud (I hope it was mud and nothing else) sucked my flip flop off while I was measuring the water temp. Not deterred by the mud or the 15.5° water temperature we valiantly set off and found that the river was actually really clean once away from the bank. It made a nice change to get away from the stretches that I usually swim at and venture out into the proper countryside.
The start point was a little bit muddy, we got in the river from the edge of a field and the mud (I hope it was mud and nothing else) sucked my flip flop off while I was measuring the water temp. Not deterred by the mud or the 15.5° water temperature we valiantly set off and found that the river was actually really clean once away from the bank. It made a nice change to get away from the stretches that I usually swim at and venture out into the proper countryside.
As you probably realised from the photos, my long suffering wife walked alongside us for the whole swim carrying food, water and a rather large camera. But it was really useful not only to have a pack mule but for someone to warn us about boats, kayaks, geese etc. All of whom were really friendly and for the most part were really interested in what we were doing and why. The first 3 km was quite uneventful and rather peaceful, however one of our party decided that 3km was enough and joined my wife on the walk. That is where my dreaded bird curse struck again, although this time the birds went after my wife. While walking alongside us Aileen came across these lovely looking geese, just near a gate on the footpath. They weren't too happy that people were heading towards them and decided to head into the river, but that's when they spotted us swimming. They panicked slightly, and turned round to find that the on land support party had got much closer which caused them to be even more more panicked. After a few minutes of hissing and flapping (from the geese) everyone was able to carry on their way.
The rest of the swim was great, there were a few funny moments, one being where I beached myself in a very shallow bit of river. The thing that really got everyone laughing, well after the event, was just at the end of the swim. We waded out of the river and picked a rather muddy place to do so, when I say muddy I really do mean muddy. If you don't believe me I have photographic proof.
Now that's what I call muddy, however the fun didn't end there and this is where the title of the blog post comes from. On the short walk from our exit point we had to walk along the footpath past a few cows. Now, I've never had a problem with cows before and I grew up in the countryside. But one particular bullock took a dislike to our group and especially me, and started to semi charge us. Being the rather chivalrous gentleman that I am, I distracted the rather large beastie (by just standing nearby, for some reason it had picked me out as the one to attack) allowing some of our party to walk round to safety. Unhappy at being fooled and allowing some of us to escape it decided to take out it's aggression on me, it started snorting and I swear there were a few hoof stamps as well.
It then charged straight at me! I stood my ground for a bit and then I backed off. I know that you shouldn't run, but have you ever had a bullock charge you? It is tough not to run, I moved backwards quite quickly. Unfortunately, I had nowhere to go except in to the river and I had visions of the bullock jumping in after me. I stopped before it got too deep as I'd lost both of my shoes and swimming away was really a last resort. The big beastie stopped just short of me and we stayed like that for what felt like an age. He wasn't happy and no amount of distraction from my friends would make him leave this rather unusual Mexican stand-off we were having. I talked calmly at him for a while, he seemed to like it as he finally let me recover my shoes and after about 10 minutes he got bored and wandered off. It was touch and go for a few minutes, and I honestly thought I was going to have a real issue. It has gotten to be beyond a joke as nature seems to want to attack me.
Now that's what I call muddy, however the fun didn't end there and this is where the title of the blog post comes from. On the short walk from our exit point we had to walk along the footpath past a few cows. Now, I've never had a problem with cows before and I grew up in the countryside. But one particular bullock took a dislike to our group and especially me, and started to semi charge us. Being the rather chivalrous gentleman that I am, I distracted the rather large beastie (by just standing nearby, for some reason it had picked me out as the one to attack) allowing some of our party to walk round to safety. Unhappy at being fooled and allowing some of us to escape it decided to take out it's aggression on me, it started snorting and I swear there were a few hoof stamps as well.
It then charged straight at me! I stood my ground for a bit and then I backed off. I know that you shouldn't run, but have you ever had a bullock charge you? It is tough not to run, I moved backwards quite quickly. Unfortunately, I had nowhere to go except in to the river and I had visions of the bullock jumping in after me. I stopped before it got too deep as I'd lost both of my shoes and swimming away was really a last resort. The big beastie stopped just short of me and we stayed like that for what felt like an age. He wasn't happy and no amount of distraction from my friends would make him leave this rather unusual Mexican stand-off we were having. I talked calmly at him for a while, he seemed to like it as he finally let me recover my shoes and after about 10 minutes he got bored and wandered off. It was touch and go for a few minutes, and I honestly thought I was going to have a real issue. It has gotten to be beyond a joke as nature seems to want to attack me.
Still I got the last laugh, I went straight into the nearby pub and ordered the largest BEEF burger I could!